A British tourist is out here spilling the tea on what it’s really like to land yourself in a Thai jail—and spoiler alert, it’s nothing short of a nightmare. The 29-year-old former soldier, who’s staying anonymous for obvious reasons, spent 15 harrowing days locked up for overstaying his visa. His message to travelers? Follow the rules or risk a trip to what he calls “hell on Earth.”
How Did It All Go Wrong?
Dude’s journey in Thailand started out chill. He landed in April with big plans to settle down and start a business. Fast forward to November, and everything went sideways after a fight with his ex in Pattaya. That’s when cops found out his visa was expired and dragged him to court.
And by “dragged,” I mean literally. He claims the police ambushed him in a public restroom, roughed him up, and dumped him, handcuffed, into the back of a truck.
“It wasn’t until a Russian cellmate filled him in that he even knew what was happening.
Welcome to Thai Jail: A Living Horror Show
This guy’s jail experience sounds like a scene straight out of a horror movie.
- Overcrowded cells: Imagine being crammed into a 6×4-foot space with eight other guys. No room to lie down, barely any space to move.
- Gross conditions: Trash piling up, fire ants and cockroaches everywhere, and food served on trays washed in filthy bathroom sinks.
- Heartbreaking scenes: “There was this pregnant girl from Laos who couldn’t stop crying. Her head kept hitting the floor because there was no room to sit properly,” he recalled.
Bangkok’s Deportation Center? Even Worse
After eight hellish days in Pattaya, he got transferred to a deportation center in Bangkok. If Pattaya was bad, this place was a whole new level of grim:
- 130 people, four toilets: You do the math. It’s not pretty.
- Showering with a bucket: Prisoners got one bucket of cold water to clean themselves.
- Air? What air? They were let out for just an hour a week to breathe outside.
- And unless you’ve got cash, forget about eating anything other than instant noodles from the corner stall.
The Escape Plan: Mom to the Rescue
Lucky for him, his mom went all out, working with the British Embassy to secure his release. Turns out, staying at the deportation center isn’t free either—it costs 500 baht a night, not counting the flight home.
In a desperate move, he even smuggled a phone into his cell (hidden in baby wipes!) to document the whole ordeal. “If my mom hadn’t fought for me, I’d still be stuck there,” he admitted.
A Word of Warning
His takeaway? Don’t mess around with visa rules in Thailand. “It’s not worth it. They’ll come down on you like a ton of bricks, and once you’re in their system, good luck getting out,” he warned.
He also slammed Thailand’s legal system, calling it a money-making trap that preys on tourists. “Tourism is their bread and butter, but they treat foreigners like cash cows,” he said.
As for going back to Thailand? Not a chance. “That country? Never again.”